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You might not be the FIRST man she blames all her problems on, but you sure as hell can be NEXT. On the whole, give single and divorced mothers a pass. Little girls long for daddies as much as little boys. The children of single mothers have already been wounded so deeply by the lack of a father. And for the love of god, if you decide to give one a spin, STAY AWAY FROM THE CHILD. To give them some hope that it might be YOU, and then leave them is unspeakably cruel. You can’t save those little innocents, but you can save them from hurting even more. If you ever find yourself referring to a woman whose husband died on a battlefield as a single mother, you should immediately pour Tabasco sauce into your eyes, because you deserve to weep all the tears I’m certain she has.Having a child out of wedlock is pretty much the number one thing you can do to fuck up your life. Never, ever assume a divorced woman is some innocent blushing maid cruelly abused by some terrible man. What kind of insecurities plague a woman who thinks getting married to a drug addict is good idea?Afterwards, we'd lay in bed half-dressed – me in a grubby tee-shirt, my husband in a lace bra. As he touched my body, I realized that he was imagining it was his own. During the light of day I tried to talk myself out of this new mindset. In a matter of weeks, I left everything behind – the house, the car and the size-12 gold shoes. After the sound of the judges gavel we hugged goodbye, and I thought I felt the ribbed wire of the corset beneath his button-up shirt.I gave myself pep talks: "You love him, you want him to be happy, and you already decided that sex was not the defining feature of your relationship." For instance, I thought, he loved sci-fi movies…I did not. Why would a sexual fetish be more divisive than that? It wasn't until I was decorating my apartment with as many girly things as possible that I let myself realize how upset I had been.
I imagined him reaching out to me in passion – and he did.We were still in the honeymoon phase at this point, literally and figuratively. I could barely get the words out over the lump in my throat. I could never walk away because my partner was struggling with something like But it turned out my positive response was short lived. By now I was worried that sex wasn't in the picture at all. I spent a few days online reassuring myself that cross-dressers were often heterosexual. When the enormous box arrived in the mail he was floored. I convinced myself that partnerships are about so much than sex.We were laying side by side looking at the ceiling after another quick and unsatisfying interlude – which I'd gotten used to, somehow. We were best friends and I decided I didn't need more.You can pick up a heroin addiction, drop out of high school, rob a bank or decide to write the great American novel financing yourself on your credit cards. You can go to rehab, get your GED, get parole, and pay off those cards. A modern man doesn’t turn up his nose at a woman with some sexual experience who might have learned a trick or two from previous lovers about what men REALLY like, or more likely, she learned how to FIND OUT, but the majority of men would like to see a NEW sign on her uterus. When a man picks a wife, he wants to know he won’t be competing with some random babydaddy who was there before him. A great wife and mother places the needs and happiness of her husband and children ABOVE her own needs, and in doing so, finds her greatest happiness. But a woman who makes YOU the center of her life is going to be a great wife. Oh, that’s the story she’ll spin for you, because really, what women is going to sit there and say “I’m an unbearably controlling and irrational cunt who made my husband’s life such hell he decided he would rather be a weekend Dad than spend one more second with me”. What kind of delusional self-image does a woman have, if she can fall for a con artist with a gambling habit that would shame Charlie Sheen?But once you have a child, you cannot take it back. Third, single mothers profoundly misunderstand men. There are few men who are overjoyed to spend their blood, sweat and tears on some other guy’s genetic offspring. A woman who cares so little about her children, her own prospects, and her future husband is NOT going to make a great wife. Oh, and in return, you have to make HER the center of your life. When you meet a divorced single mother, immediately start looking for the flaw. Something that drove another man to pledge his undying love to her, to have and to hold, from this day forth, and then sometime later decide “fuck this shit. Be very cautious around a woman who takes none of the blame for her failed marriage.