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I realized that I only needed myself to be able to live fully.
I didn’t need to depend on anyone else for love, happiness or anything else.
Pride, ego and being afraid to show vulnerability are all things that can potentially cause significant harm to a relationship.
There is nothing more endearing and appealing in a grown-up relationship than a partner who is being authentic and accepting who they are as a person, faults and all.
Although the relationship will be full of cracks and they are not likely to last, the rollercoaster ride leaves both parties dizzy and constantly reeling. We are constantly learning and are subjected to a variety of stimuli on a daily basis that makes it entirely impossible to remain the same.
This makes the experience one that can be very difficult to step away from. Day-to-day changes may not be very noticeable but when we look back over time the changes are far more obvious.
I also used to think that love had to be a little messy to keep it exciting.
Now, I see clearly how juvenile that was and how it was keeping us in a parent-child dependency rather than allowing us to function as two grown adults.
When someone is open to change and willing to hear how they may be going wrong with certain things, in a positive way, it is one way to strengthen and develop, not just the relationship, but our own selves too.
We should never be afraid to bring things to the table to discuss, so long as the discussions are carried out with fairness, respect and care for the other person’s feelings.
We wrongly believe it must be everyone else’s fault the relationships we’ve been in haven’t worked out. We have to become the type of person we want to be to be able to attract the same qualities in another.
What we fail to see is that just because we grown-up love, it doesn’t mean that we ourselves are ready for it. Or at the very least to be able to keep it once we have attracted it.