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My son needs me to spend more time with him so I’m going to spend the whole weekend focusing on him”. It felt weird, but I kept telling myself that he probably made a promise to his son that he’d stay off his phone or something. this message will self destruct ;)” and a few minutes later I received a thank you text and that his son is so happy I dropped it off etc etc etc….. And for a 4 day silent run, I call him out, and now he’s talkative and wants to explain? Sure I’m saying this as a single woman, but you know what no matter what find the courage and strength in yourself and make the choice not to accept the behavior and find someone who is great. It’s easy enough to say “yes” to a relationship dynamic that’s what you want…
Another “Awww” moment and I only respond “No big deal! There’s one thing I know for sure, this type of guy is not one I WANT to be dating. So this isn’t a question as to how I get him back or make him want me back, not at all. what most people don’t find easy is saying “no” to what they don’t want….
I’m not looking for that and when that starts coming up, I scale my presence in her life back considerably – I don’t want things to turn into a relationship and therefore I withdraw. I’ve pushed her away and now I’m going to lose her. my goal being that I’d like to return to “stasis” – that perfect sweet spot of comfortable company and sexual satisfaction without having to tie myself down to any relationship.
Then, inevitably, the girl starts to get upset, frustrated, confused, etc. My point here: My goal is to maintain the stage before exclusivity and relationship happens. I’m clear on this and it’s practical for where I am in my life right now.
So I guess, people must show at least some interest and be involved in keeping the relationship open or make some contribution for development of the relationship.
I guess, if someone acts as a cold fish, it’s not good either.
He told me his priority has changed to focus on his career. Men can get sex so easy these days why should they commit. I’m not a young woman and though I work hard at keeping my life filled with work and other activities, it is SO difficult to just forget about the many hours and months we spent together. Even if the call was only 3 minutes, it ALWAYS happened.I asked if he loves her he said it has reached to that point where love does not exist but he is only responsible to her because of the promise he gave to her parents. Things started to change between us one day when he provoked me too much and I sent him a serious long message. Unless you’re married don’t do 3 day weekends, do their laundry, cook numerous meals etc. I still miss him every day and I am working hard not to cry every day. I too am not currently seeking anyone else right now because I am working on my self ( career, financial stability, health and fitness etc..) and he clearly knows when I one day tell him I’m in a committed relationship with someone, the sweet spot ‘stasis” will be over. Flirtatious in app messages went on for about a month before we exchanged phone numbers to text and call.He started being cold but off and on will still come back and talk to me. Women are so desperate for a man many settle for crumbs. It all stems from why buy the milk when they are getting cows for free. If he hasn’t responded to my 1-2 texts per month, is there any hope that he might ever respond? He’s a single dad, I’m a single mom so we both were in no rush.Hi I recently met a guy n he is my friend’s friend.We started talking more in March n things were right. We had good times together and dated a few times as we live in different cities.